Heart Over Head?
I’m a planner. I plan everything. Not to say I can’t be spontaneous, but I have goals and I’m aware that to achieve all of them, I have to allocate X amount of time and energy to each. For the last few years my “life plan” has looked like so: get a great job (check), earn my MBA in grad school, move to Europe for a year or so, move back to the US and take a look into that whole marriage and babies idea. Solid right? Or so I thought.
Last fall it was suggested that I take an acting class and as I thought about it, I couldn’t find any reason not to. My rational was that by taking an acting class (something that I would enjoy doing anyway) I could maybe work my way up to finding an agent and maybe booking a commercial that could help me pay for grad school. If not, it would at least help my public speaking and boost my confidence. Win win situation.
So I started two weeks later. That was eight months and 6 classes ago and now I’ve fallen in love. This is where my conundrum begins. Now, not only am I a planner, I’m also extremely passionate. But as we know, sometimes our hearts say different things than our heads. I started taking acting classes as a means to an end and I’ve come to realize that it’s no longer a means to an end, it is the end. Everything from my first job working at a movie theatre for four and a half years to my 10 years of experience in performing to my love for the production aspect of the industry has led me to realize I should stop fighting it. My head has been saying, “Go to grad school, get your MBA” and my heart is fighting back with, “Follow your passion, ride this wave until it stops.” After much deliberation, I’ve made my decision. I’ve decided to follow my passion. I mean, I still have time to go to grad school, now’s just not the time.
I’ve opened my eyes and realized how many people I’m surrounded by that genuinely love what they’re doing. Truly talented people pursuing the long hours to sew together their craft, to make magic out of movement and music, to open their own business and release their creative freedom. It really is inspiring. I was chatting with my acting instructor on Monday telling him how inspired I am by all of these people and how I just want to dive in head first and do everything. He looked me straight in the eyes and said “Kiley, you can. Just do it.” And he’s right. So I am. Following my passion and I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can and see where it takes me. If it stops being fun, I’ll just jump off early. At the very least, I’m being honest.
So yes, do we practice what we preach? Sometimes. It’s always easier said than done, but I have this gut feeling that the ride will be a lot more fun if I’m madly in love with the wave.